For one night only

 

I had just completed my post-graduate specialty training and was exploring different ways of working to find the best fit for my personal and family commitments.

I decided to do an overnight visiting shift with the local extended hours provider. This entails providing medical care to patients who were not sick enough to be sent to hospital, in their own homes.

As the doctor on duty, you are given a caseload of patients, a car and driver (Navigator).

The next case on my list was an elderly man who was agitated, unable to sleep and had got his medication mixed up. 

It was after midnight and his house was in a poorly lit row of terraces along an alley walk in a roughish area in the city. 

All previous night visits I had done were as a Junior doctor in the company of a senior colleague. 

I did not feel comfortable in that neighbourhood, so was glad to have the Navigator, a chunky middle aged man, with me.

I started to get more uncomfortable as we heard argumentative voices from within the house before knocking on the door. The impression I had was that he lived alone. 

The door was opened by scraggly man probably in his forties. The room appeared dark and foggy, but most of all, the stench! It was a mixture of all kinds of smoky things from marijuana to firewood, mixed with damp and cats. 

He pointed at an old man curled in a rocking chair in the opposite corner of the room and muttered some introduction in a slurred muffled voice. I gathered he was the patient's son. It was obvious that he was drunk/high/both or worse.

I made my way to the middle of the room and tried to find a standing spot amidst the clutter on the ground, holding firmly to my doctors briefcase for comfort whilst likely silently saying prayers of Saint Christopher, the saint of protection. 

There was thankfully no expression of aggression and I started to get the history of the problem with his mixed up medication. It was going to be very quick. He was alive and breathing, and I was struggling to breathe in the smoke. 

The next thing, I heard a loud bang behind me. My Navigator/bodyguard had collapsed! Much to my horror. I was in a dingy room in a rough neighbourhood with a frail old man, an intoxicated man and a semi-conscious big man in the middle of the night. 

I rushed to open the door and the fresh air must have helped him as he opened his eyes. I somehow managed to drag him to the doorway where he sat on the floor for a few moments trying to regain consciousness. 

The next few minutes were a blurr but I managed to give the patient quick advice on an alternative medication he could take immediately until the chemist opened in the morning and get Mr. Navigator into the car. 

To be fair I think the patient had temporarily forgotten about his own problems for a bit.

I drove the car back to station with my new patient reclined in the front passenger seat. My hair and clothing still pungent.

He had mostly recovered now and was apologising that his poor lungs could not withstand the condition in the house. 😏😒🙄

Anyway, that was enough adventure for me. It was some eight years ago and I have never done another overnight visiting shift since.

No, thanks. I nor do again. 

I can't breathe

I came across a comment about how people are "jumping on the bandwagon" in the UK for racism in America. 

I understand how it may be difficult to see the need to speak up for what you stand for, in a society where racism is mostly covert. 

However, the danger is that continued silence has encouraged behaviour that has slowly chipped away recognition of the value and dignity of black people within society. 

The truth is that many black migrants are not even aware of various racial connotations in their everyday interactions. Sometimes even when we are aware, as long as it does not interfere with our daily bread, we brush it aside and carry on. 

For first generation migrants coming from a society where almost everyone is black, most people have no idea what racism actually is. White foreign workers, missionaries and those who marry into families in Nigeria for example, are treated with reverence. They are never called migrants, which has somehow become a derogatory term. They are called expatriates.

In the worst case, they are assumed to have foreign currency and hence are target for theives.

Very sadly, most of the African continent does not seem to be able to recover itself to a level of independence in spite of its rich human and natural resources. 

White people are confident travelling anywhere in the world for holidays and adventures because they expect to be treated with fairness and dignity wherever they go. 

Unlike me, they will not be asked when they arrive in South Africa or Bahrain or New Zealand to work, "Was life too hard for you in your country that you had to come here?"

I have now lived most of my adult life in England. I am a British citizen. I speak English. I do not think that I look dangerous. I have a decent job, I pay my taxes and stay out of trouble. 

I continue to have experiences of direct and indirect racism. Some unintentional, some out of curiosity and many just plain ignorance.

A senior white colleague many years ago, advised me to put my photograph in front of my CV when applying for jobs and to always go into the workplace to make direct enquiries and speak to somebody. Simply sending in an application with my traditional name and undergraduate qualification from Africa will quickly send my file to the bottom of the pile.... or into the bin.

At first I thought it was just honest advice as he understood the obstacles in my path but on reflection, I realise that it was his recognition of the inherent racism within the system.

A patient walking into my clinic the day after the Brexit results to console me that he wasn't one of those that voted for "people like me" to be sent away was extremely ignorant and so daft that my next statement was something like "Can we just concentrate on these boils in your groin that I am trying to help you get rid of?"

I remember doing a home visit as a trainee in a rural practice near Burnley in the North of England. It was to a farm house down a narrow, winding downhill path with a male patient probably in his late 60s. He had poorly controlled diabetes with long standing leg ulcers that had become infected. I changed his dressing, prescribed some antibiotics and rang round to ensure that the district nurses were going to come out to replace his dressings regularly. On my way out, I noticed a sign on his door hand-written in coal. "No dogs. No Blacks or Asians allowed here".

A small part of me was annoyed with myself for not reading the sign before entering his house. It would have given me a good reason to drive away and leave him with his rotting racist leg. 

But a bigger part of me was thinking how lucky he was that I hadn't seen it. 

I looked at the sign, turned to him and shook my head, making a note to update his records to alert any future Black or Asian doctors not to visit him unaccompanied in the future. 

Another time, I was visiting a nursing home in the company of our secretary, a very lovely white lady. The nurse, a white male, led me to the patient's room. As he went in to inform the patient that the doctor had come to see him, I overhead him saying "I don't want to see any coloured doctors. Get me an English doctor. "

I turned around and walked away, telling the now embarrassed nurse to transfer him to another practice as there were no white English doctors at our practice, much to the poor secretary's awkward unease.

Of course there have been many more incidents.

Most people I meet are however not racist. They may be curious or ignorant and ask you if you know one Ola or Kanu because the person is from Africa like you. (Like asking an Englishman you meet in Mauritius about Erik from Sweden). 

Some people start to tell you stories about their visit to Kenya when you say that you are from Nigeria. (Like telling an Irishman you meet in South Africa, about your visit to Germany).

I understand that people have a right to preserve their culture and I think that is the right thing to do. I do not have any grand delusion that things will suddenly become equal and fair.

But by not addressing fundamental prejudice, we sacrifice the future of our children and their children many of whom will continue to suffer bias and bigotry in overt and covert forms not because they are migrants themselves, but because of the colour of their skin. 

We do not have to wait until someone is kneeling on our neck until we cannot breathe before we cry out.

We see. We hear. We are here. We are human. 

. 

Self Preservation

Recently, it was the anniversary of the Manchester arena terrorist bombing - a very sad day indeed. The thought of such a dreadful thing happening close so to home in an arena where I had attended concerts even with my children, was terrifying. I remember how it sparked open prejudice within the society.

There have been a few waves of discrimination of various groups of people in different societies for various reasons. Eastern Europeans during the Brexit saga and more recently, South East Asians for Covid 19. Within the American Society the atrocious blatant racism against the black society does not seem to have changed since the era of slavery- but that is beyond my remit and comprehension.

Muslims had a long spell thanks to several terrorist attacks all over the world. Personally, I have respect for the dedication to their religious practices and cultures in spite of adversities.

I remember one particularly embarrassing incident around the time of the attack which made me reflect on perceptions of prejudice.

There have been times when I have been visibly startled in the course of my work, such that I was unable to retain my professional poker face.

One time was when I attended a home visit for an elderly lady. She lived alone in a small forlorn bungalow with an overgrown front garden. I knocked and waited. After a few moments, the little old lady poked her head through the door and believe it or not, she had a small horn in the centre of her forehead. I freaked out and jumped back (probably yelled "Blood of Jesus!")...but I got my composure enough to complete the visit. I later found out it was a skin condition she had developed over time, awaiting treatment. Nothing of the devilish inclination I was thinking. (But yes, it was a horn, like a Rhino's, but much smaller)

Another time whilst working as a Junior doctor in an Urgent Care Centre many years ago, a young middle eastern man came in complaining of a skin condition on his back. I asked him to lift up his thobe (kaftan) to allow me to examine. As he did so a huge pile of scaly skin fell to the floor with a loud rustling sound. I literally jumped out of the cubicle. I thought it was a snake. As I found out later, it was a really bad case of a skin condition called Erythrodermic Psoriasis. (You know you want to "google" it).

Anyway, back to my original story....

It was a few days after the Terrorist attack when there was a heightened sense of alertness in the company of Muslims.

I called in my next patient. He was a middle aged bearded Asian man dressed in traditional kaftan.

He made brief courteous eye contact with little expression. He walked at a steady pace, and took his seat on the patient chair in front of me. As he did so, he brought out a mobile device from his pocket and placed it on the table between us, glanced at me and turned to fix a stare at the wall behind me.

Within a few seconds, his phone vibrated on my desk followed by a rather loud Muslim call to prayer. "Allahu akbar".
Before my brain had time to process what was going on, my body leapt out of the chair, out of the door, through the corridor, down the stairs and outside the building. All in about five seconds.

After a couple of minutes, (when the building did not explode), I took a moment to recollect, said a quick prayer and re-entered my office.

"I am so sorry." He apologized. "It's my prayer time alarm, I have turned it off"
I muttered some form of excuse in apology for running off like that.

It was a most embarrassing moment for me but we forged a very good doctor-patient relationship with his whole family from then on for the next few months.

I know I am not prejudiced. I would still put my personal safety on the forefront-
Self Preservation is somewhere in the Hippocratic Oath.
🧐🤓

Hero?

Hey!

How is everyone doing?

Some people will be coming up to the point of developing cabin fever within the next couple of weeks as the novelty of working from home or being off school starts to wear off.
We are realising that this is not the same thing as a holiday.

Friends cannot come to visit, and we cannot go out because there's nowhere to go! Everywhere is shut. Worse still, we have no idea how long this is going to last.

Let's look on the bright side; Our earth 🌎 is breathing again, we're saving money on petrol &snacks, and we're getting very good at online quizzes!

For those who are still going to work, some are terrified.
Every time they step into a public place they can almost feel or smell "the virus".😨

My experience has not been without its intrigues.

My usual way of working has changed, probably forever.
Overall, it has confirmed what I have always believed- that many people did not really need a face to face appointment to see a doctor.

In this "Coronial" era, we have all come to appreciate that video calling is not just a fancy fad. It is also useful for examination of rashes and swellings and even assessing breathing difficulties.

Unfortunately, there will still be people whose idea of emergency or whose confusion about the role of a doctor, (especially those without a magic wand or a crystal ball) will differ.

All the doorstep clapping at 8pm on Thursdays and constant proclamation of heroism is probably contributing to the rather high expectations.

I can understand those reacting in hysteria to the current pandemic and seeking answers from me that the World Health Organisation (WHO) and Centre for disease control  (CDC) have not been able to give. It is a very worrying time.

I am happy to Google for you or read you the latest advice as I receive it- which may be different tomorrow. For example: Does Ibuprofen increase your risk of complications from Coronavirus?
(I also seem to have missed the memo that inhalers treat Covid19- or why else is everyone requesting one, even if they have never needed one before!🤔🙄😏)

I will even entertain ten minutes of solidarity rant about the unavailability of protective equipment for frontline workers even if that is all you booked an appointment for.

What I cannot do are things like telling you where to get infant formula milk or sanitary towels or paracetamol if all the usual shops have run out. Serious as it is.

I cannot also tell you whether you can start trying for a baby now and be certain that you will not get the virus and it will not affect your unconceived baby.

I can help to manage your anxiety but if the problem is that your weed supplier has coronavirus, my input is limited.

I cannot also start prescribing you sex change hormones because the online doctor (whom you have never met in person!) that was assisting you with gender change hormone injections is no longer contactable and you are now turning back to a man.

Yes, I have had every one of these....and more.
Honestly, people are having withdrawals from make-up and routines!

It might be an idea that people staying at home should get up every morning, get dressed as usual....full make up, suit and tie and all, go into your car and switch on the engine and sit there for the length of your usual morning drive. Or take a walk if you use public transport.🤔

Maybe also use the time to reflect on the rare opportunity to appreciate just being human with basic needs. Spare a thought for the young lad at the supermarket or pharmacy till with no protective gear who is now worried as the disease is no longer an "old people problem", the carer taking the risky journey on the bus or train, to work at the care home looking after vulnerable people. They are heroes too!

My respect for everyone working in intensive care and emergency units around the world.

Hang in there on a prayer🙏

Stay safe, Stay home, Stay 2 metres away from me!
😚

Keep Calm C-19

Hey Everyone,

Many of us will be at various stages of dealing with the news about the current Covid 19 outbreak.
Some of us are just starting to gather information whilst others are in a queue for toilet roll or tomatoes. Many are already sick of hearing about it now.

Unfortunately for most of those I share this with, we still have some way to go in this tunnel before we see the light.

Whichever stage you are at, there is a heightened sense of anxiety around the world right now and there has never been a better time to look after your mental health.

Persistent states of anxiety can result in long term physical and mental illnesses including hypertension, irritable bowel syndrome,  hair loss, skin diseases like psoriasis and many more.

Here's a few suggestions that might be handy:

Try to avoid constant News updates throughout the day. 1-2 times daily updates will be enough, unless you require information for work or direct information about a loved one.

Find a reliable information source like:

 -https://www.who.int
-https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/
-https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/
-Your local health authority.

Remember that this is a new disease. Even the experts do not have all the correct information yet.

Be mindful that children are suffering too. A lot of them are confused and very anxious. Their sense of normal has been disrupted and many face isolation from friends and family, reduced physical activity and uncertainty about their education in the immediate future.

Many will start to constantly hear words like Hospital, Death, Wartime, Quarantine  and so on, which can be quite frightening.

They are also feeding off our own anxiety.

Let us try to keep things positive for them. Engage them in household activities: DIY projects, Gardening. writing, outdoor play. Watch telly together -avoiding News of course. Many will now have an online school programme. Try to keep a routine to their day.

If you now have to stay at home or work from home, don't forget to look after your health too. There are lots of online exercise videos.

Go for walks where possible. This may be a good time to take up gardening or to tidy up that wardrobe/kitchen store/spare room!
There are many TV series available to watch on Netflix, Amazon Prime etc which can be a useful distraction.

Try to have first aid supplies at home and avoid going to any hospitals unless absolutely necessary. Paracetamol, Ibuprofen, Hayfever medicines, Anti diarrhoea medicines, plasters and multivitamins are basic essentials.

Ensure that you have ordered adequate supply of any prescription medication from your doctor.

Many doctors are now able to offer video and telephone consultations to reduce your need to attend clinics. The aim of this is to protect you from highly susceptible environments for disease transmission.

Many people also find religious faith, prayers and mindfulness practices helpful.

Remember that if you do get Covid 19, you have a high chance of survival and there's good chance that you will only get mild symptoms.

Above all, avoid all non-essential social contacts and wash your hands! ....... instead of singing happy birthday whilst washing your hands, you can sing:

"Staying Alive" by the Beegees
"Living on a Prayer " by Bon Jovi
"Scrubs" by TLC
😊

Hang in there!
Godspeed
X

OCD

Sometimes I feel like the whole mental health umbrella is getting too big and everything is being shoved under it.

Take my next patient for example. He wasn't even going to waste my time, he already had his diagnosis ready. Well, his fiancee did.

"I need to be referred to the Psychiatrist for intensive therapy to cure my OCD."

 I quick-scroll his medical records. No OCD there.

"Okay....Have you been diagnosed with OCD in the past?"

"Well, my fiancee showed me this website and it's exactly how I feel."

He passes me a printed booklet.

"And what website is this from?" I ask,  hoping to hear something like nhs.uk or even wikipedia.

He says something like intrusivethoughts.com.
(Not that I was going to start reading his seven page document anyhow. )

"With all due respect for your research, can we just keep this aside and you tell me what has been happening with you."

"I can't stop thinking that I have made the wrong decision proposing to my fiancee. I don't think that she's the right person for me, I am not ready to get married.

And I keep acting on these thoughts by letting her know how I am feeling but the thought doesn't go away. It has become obsessive. That's all I think about all day.

The website says it's when you can't stop thinking about something and my fiancee suggested I see a Psychiatrist to get rid of these thoughts."

On further history, his concerns are not completely unfounded. He has no job, cannot afford a wedding amongst other genuine concerns.

At this point, I am silently trying to process this information.

Why didn't they search for "I am having second thoughts about getting married. " instead of intrusive thoughts. I wonder.

 In fairness to my esteemed colleague Dr. Google, you will always find what you search for.

One day, when I am near retirement with no fear of getting struck off the medical register, I would be able to say what I really think.

Today I say the right thing still....I am professional like that.

"I don't think that you have OCD.

I think it would be a good idea to have some relationship counselling to get to the bottom of why you have doubts about your relationship. "

I signpost to him to a relationship counselling service.

As for the bride-to-be, by hook or by crook, can't blame a girl for trying 😂.

Choices

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

It was at that point that I lost it. I stepped out of my doctor shell and became a woman, a sister, a friend, a mother.... just another human being, and female.

Rewind.

**Caution**
Graphic content may be distressing**


I was doing a day's shift at a practice in an area with a high population of conservative ethnic and religious groups where a lot of families lived in homes and streets with extended family members within close proximity.

Within these kind of arrangements, there are often strong cultural values and practices, unlike the general English culture.

A young lady came to see me. She was around 22 years old and had a toddler with her.

Her opening statement told me that I needed my detective glasses on. The kind that tells you that they are very worried about something, but they're not going to tell you what it is. I will have to figure it out.

"Doctor, I need you to be check my insides to make sure everything is ok."

(On a side note, can I just highlight that there is no one test for everything/to check that you are well/don't have cancer etc. Believe it or not, our human body is extremely complicated and dynamic....)

Anyway, I started probing.

The short summary (we got there in the end), was that she had been bleeding vaginally following fisting by her supposed fiance on repeated occasions. He had now suggested that they progress to anal fisting and the thought terrified her.

It was an on-off relationship and it was clear that she was not comfortable in it. She hated these alternative sexual options but felt obliged to endure them because he had promised her marriage!

She was already a single mother from a brief relationship and felt that finding a man willing  to marry her would save her from the shame she was enduring within her community.

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

I will save my extended views on feminism for another day but the Chimamanda Adichie and Meghan Markle I felt at that point was palpable.

Thankfully I had recently been on a course where they taught us how to breathe. Honestly. I had not realised how handy it will come until this fateful day.

Apologies again to all the next few appointments.

I spent the next thirty minutes discussing life with this young lady.

Who are YOU? What do YOU want out of life? What do YOU believe? What standards do you want to set for your child? What do you really intend to get out of marriage?

How much are you prepared to sacrifice for this? How much of your self? Your physical and mental health,  your future, your hopes, your beliefs. And for how long?!

It's all down to YOU. And the only thing you have is CHOICE!

Please do not stay in the wrong place, job, relationship etc when you know it's bad for you. You do not have time, but you have a choice, a voice.

Unfortunately, I may never meet her again but I would like  to think that for the first time in her life, she saw herself  as a 22 year old woman and mother with a life of possibilities ahead of her. One that did not include the need to wear nappies to control leaking bowels resulting from trying to please a man.

I mean, have you ever looked at the size of a man's fist?!

My name is...

The power of language.

I had a complaint letter from a patient  (As you do in the modern era of complaining about everything.... but there's a separate story about that).

This lady had requested medication which I had refused to issue as there was no clear indication for them in her records. They also had a risk of addiction.

The tone of the letter was not very nice, to say the least.

She questioned the audacity of this foreign doctor whom she had never met, changing what her old doctor prescribed five years earlier. She decided that this doctor was a previous doctor she had encountered in a telephone consultation whom she thought had a language barrier. (Wrong assumption)
She demanded to see a proper doctor who spoke English.

Somehow, she ended up back on my list.

As it turned out, she had indeed met me before-face to face, not over the phone- but for some reason, had assumed my name to be something else like Moore or Mason. (Apparently, that was the name on the door).

I remembered her well now, seeing her again. It had been a very normal engaging consultation where she had expressed gratitude for making her feel listened to for the first time.  (There should be another story about that phrase....and others. )

This time around, it was awkward. Mostly for her really, I had my invisible resilient cloak on.

"I didn't realise it was you." She apologised. "Because it had a foreign name on the message"

Duh!!

Long story short, she wasn't getting that medication anymore. At least, not from me. She agreed.

It was one of many occasions where I have observed how language sometimes transcends ethnic name or race in how people identify and relate with one another.

I remember reading Trevor Noah's " Born A Crime ", how he used his ability to speak different languages and in different accents to gain affinity amongst various groups of people, including gang type groups in his childhood.

This incident, one of  many, brought flashbacks from many years ago, whilst applying for post-graduate training placements.

I was given advice like:
"With your name,  it will be difficult to get a job."
"Maybe you should put a picture in front of your CV so people can appreciate the kind of person you are"
"Call and speak to somebody on the phone, let them hear you speak "

All with good reason and intentions.

I was once actually advised to start watching soaps like Coronation street to improve my English....by somebody who had never really spoken to me!
I dared not inform them that some of Coronation street language would defile, degrade and befoul my spoken English. I let it slide and let them learn. I was about to start working with them.

I have come to appreciate that language should be seen for what it is. A means of effective communication, not a measure of intelligence.

Anyway I am here now, in spite of my name and in honour of it.

This is me.

Africa for beginners

AFRICA FOR BEGINNERS

Africa is the second largest and second most populous continent in the world, made up of 54 countries.

It is also the oldest, and it is thought that human species originated there.

There are over a thousand languages spoken across different countries in Africa including Swahili, French, Yoruba, Arabic and Portugese.
The most spoken language is​ English.

Most sub Saharan Africans are dark skinned but there are around 5 million white Africans in South Africa alone, mostly of European origin.

The most popular religions are Christianity, Islam and Traditional religions which vary vastly across different countries.

Traditional clothing styles are diverse but tend to be made of brightly coloured, rich textiles worn with crafted jewellery or bold natural stones such as coral.

These are usually worn for special occasions such as weddings or festivals and can be extremely glamourous and flamboyant, such as the traditional wedding guest attires amongst Yorubas in Nigeria.

Everyday dressing however is similar to clothes worn in the summer months in the UK.

Africa's economy is based largely on agriculture and trade, with some countries rich in natural resources like crude oil.

Most of the food eaten in Africa is locally sourced with very low levels of imported food. Again the variety is huge across the continent. Starchy foods alongside meats and sauces is common.

More recently, in Nigeria for example, the entertainment and fashion industries have grown significantly, gaining international recognition for their music, movies and clothes designs.

Unfortunately, the potential for economic growth in many parts of Africa has been hindered by corruption and political unrest leading to uneven distribution of wealth, with widespread lack of welfare systems creating extremes of wealth and poverty.

Recent and ongoing development in the private sector is aimed at narrowing the gap.

There is also huge disparity in levels of formal education with some countries having only 60% of school-age children in school,  whilst a country like Zimbabwe has an overall literacy of 92%. Education is still based on mostly British and American systems.

Sadly, many educated Africans migrate to western countries for better and more stable financial opportunities.

Modern technology systems and internet access is widely available in most towns and cities.

Road travel in cars and buses are the most common form of transportation. Many cities have dual carriageways  with motorways between cities. Although there are brands of cars manufactured in Africa, most vehicles are imported.

The climate in Africa varies from hot and dry in the northern desert regions, to warm and humid in the​ sub-Saharan and Southern countries. Prolonged and heavy rainfall is common in the Tropical rainforest zones. Temperatures rarely drop below 16 degrees Celsius even in the coldest months. This makes it ideal for people who want to escape the cold winters in Europe.​

Popular holiday destinations in Africa include Cape Verde, Marrakech in Morocco,​ Seychelles, Egypt, Nairobi in Kenya and Cape Town in South Africa.​

Wildlife safaris are a popular tourist attraction in some parts of Africa like Tanzania and Kenya.

Most animals are found in nature reserves and forests, not usually in dwelling areas.

Contrary to popular impression, many people I know, living in the UK, who grew up in Africa have only ever seen Giraffes and Hippopotamuses in places like Chester and London zoos.

Love for the Middle

Someone once said: "Everyone loves you when you are a little child and when you're old, in between these times, you have to take what you get and deal with it"... or something to that effect.

I hold my two hands up, guilty as charged. I love children, and more recently, have a deep admiration for the elderly.

Today however, I am speaking for "the others". The Middle.

We are the ones responsible for the dependent ones at both extremes of life. We take the blame for their crap literally.

An obese toddler running around with an over-soaked diaper and the first thing that comes to mind is "Irresponsible parent".

An elderly gentleman comes into the bank looking unkempt and smelling of urine and you think "I wonder who looks after him"

Us! Well at least most of the time.

Today, I am deciding to take a step back for a minute and just appreciate the struggles of our present age.

I mean, some children are just born annoying. They whine for everything all the time, never listen or never stop talking, eat everything they shouldn't and refuse actual food, go into places they shouldn't, and refuse to go into places they should- like into the nurses room to get their injections.
(Flashback to the day the nurse and I were trying to pull my larger than average 3.5 yr old from under her desk to get his pre-school booster).

Let's be honest, some of these "lovely old ladies" were right birches in their heyday. (Spelling error noted.) 

And I bet some of these "elderly fine gentlemen" had nothing fine or gentle about them once upon a time.

 They may tell us nice and colourful stories about the good old days, so we do not see that they were the mean boss or lazy co-worker, or the guy who sprayed graffiti over the church door or felt too pretty or too cool to get along with their neighbours. 

Where is this coming from, you ask?

Well, I had an extra appointment booked by an anxious mother whose 9 month old had not passed stool for a few days then started passing rainbow colours.  Bright green, yellow-orange and red - with photo evidence.

The child was happy as Larry, and we soon uncovered that she had eaten some beetroot the day before the red stools. Mum on the other hand, was very frazzled and needed a hug. She had clearly not had a full night's sleep in a while. This baby had the most beautiful smiles...which quickly turned into dry wailing when she sighted her mother's boobs, demanding a feed. I tried hard not to fall for the super cuteness. Today is Love-for-the-middle day!

Later on I paid a home visit to an elderly Octogenarian lady whose son was very worried about a rash on her legs. She clearly wasn't. She answered the door with: Shoes off please!, This was followed by: Can you get me a drink please love? Can you turn up the microwave for 4 minutes. Can you pass me that bag there, okay look inside for my hospital letter- 2 minutes later ...Oh its not there, can you go an look in the pile over the fireplace.

Gimme me a sec, I need the bathroom - 8 minutes later... "Well, I will tell you the full story. It started when I was a little girl....."

I mean, I was glad to be of help and did enjoy her story in the end, but I could not help but envisage her as a bossy diva in her 30s and 40s and it annoyed me a little.

So I am going to be nice to my fellow Middle-lifers today. I am going to smile at you and make funny faces for no good reason. I am going to pull your cheek and rub your hair and offer you my seat and offer to carry your heavy shopping bag. 

Do I hear you say it'll make me look creepy , crazy , desperate or suspicious?

Ok, I will just go back to loving the old and young then, deal with it!