Some days at work leave me questioning my sanity.
Today was one of those.
After checking the first patient's blood pressure, I tell her "Your blood pressure is raised again today, I'm afraid."
She replies "I don't know how you can just sit there and tell me my blood pressure is high. I know my own body and I know that its not. "
I stare at the electronic blood pressure machine, wondering why it was being so rude to this lovely lady until I realised she was talking to me!
Me? What did I do?
"I'm not just telling you anything, I'm only reading what the machine says."
"Doc, I need you to find another way to prove that I am pregnant. "
I had just informed the next patient that the second blood test and third urine pregnancy test confirmed that she was NOT pregnant.
"But I am nearly due and if you don't refer me soon, I'll need to be induced and I don't want that. I am very sure I'm pregnant because I felt it when the embryo divided and became a foetus. I have been pregnant many times before so I definitely know!"
I managed to convince her to start taking her antipsychotic medication again and see me in 2 weeks to discuss this "pregnancy" further.
Young, curvy lady sitting in front of me.
"I know I'm a man. I just need to get rid of these things on my chest and sort the other stuff..."
Hey, its 2023!
Somebody, somewhere is trying to match her body with his mind, unlike patient beta unfortunately, where I'm trying to match her mind with her body.
But my job here today is to fix the depression probably caused by the testosterone which is forcing the body to match the mind whilst messing up the mind further....you get the drift.
By the next patient, I had completely resigned from logical thinking. We needed to work out his body mass index so I asked casually.
"Do you know how tall you are?"
He was a thirty year old man, standing at about eye-to-eye level with my 5ft and nearly 6 inches.
"I'm 5ft 11" He said confidently, tilting his chin forward and spreading his arms apart, in attempt to somehow elongate himself .
I smile. "I don't think so. But let's see what this height chart says. "
He stands in the measuring position, against the Height chart on the wall and it reads 172cm (which converts to around 5ft 7" in old money).
"What does it say?" He asks, as I make a note of it.
I reply "It says 172cm which is about 5 ft 7 inches." Then quickly add "But that doesn't mean you are not 5ft 11."
Honestly, I don't know what is real or right any more. 😏