Its a tricky time to be a doctor in the "woke" world.
Between the internet and political correctness, there is little room for practice.
Take for example, the day I was trying to get a trans woman in-transit to describe a rash on their penis when they were in denial of the fact that they have one, as it goes against "who they are"
They spent several minutes calling it fancy neutral names like thingy or whatsit, because the word penis is somehow offensive.
When I realised what we were talking about, I asked permission to call it a penis, for the purpose of the consultation only, please. Thank you.
Next, Grandma has booked an appointment to complain. She received an appointment following a referral to the department of Elderly medicine for a combination of age-related issues.
"Elderly! How insulting! Do they even know me? I drive, I do yoga and pilates. I'm sorry but I am not going for that appointment."
I couldn't argue with her. She was only 85 years young. 👵
It was the second complaint in that week about referring to an octogenarian as old.🤔 I had obviously missed a memo.
Next, Girlie comes to see me with some issues "down there". I had a look after getting the gist.
"I think you have thrush."
"Well, I know my own body. I know it's definitely not thrush and when I checked my symptoms online it didn't say thrush."
I don't argue, of course. What do I know?
"Let's do some tests." I suggest.
The swab result came back confirming thrush. Every other infection excluded.
"But can you just prescribe some antibiotics for bacterial infection? I know that that's what it is. I know my own body."
I'm scratching my head...."Er, no, but I can give you treatment for thrush, if you don't mind. "🙄😒
Next woke patient is not even the actual patient. It's a mum on behalf of her sixteen year old daughter.
Mum has even booked a "starter appointment" first, to give me the heads up/low down...."Because daughter is in denial"
She tells me how beautiful her daughter is, showing me good'ol printed photos of beauty pageants her daughter had won and telling me about the beauty that runs in the family.
Sadly, she says, her daughter has now developed a mental illness -as people in the beauty industry do.
"She keeps thinking she has acne because some of her friends at college have acne. I have researched it and it's actually a skin picking disorder.
We are seeing a private psychologist to help her work through it."
Princess comes in later with classic textbook Acne across her face.
She seems sensible enough about it.
I give my diagnosis. Her mum is furious.
"How can you just say it's Acne, you haven't even met her before. How do you know?" She says.
🤔Where do I start? I thought. But I am becoming quite skilled at this professional answer thingy, so we have a little biology lesson.
Mum reluctantly agrees to try treatment for Acne, after I remind her very subtly and politely, that her daughter is sixteen now so I really don't need her mum to agree with me.
Daughter is beaming triumphantly in the corner.
Six weeks later, her acne is almost completely cleared and she's a beauty queen again!👸
No offence to the psychologist managing her Skin picking disorder.